Grandparents' Answering Machine

[Carl]

"Good morning . . . at present we are not at home, but please leave your message if you are one of our children".

Dial 1 and elect the option from 1 to 5 in order of "birth arrival" so we know who it is.
Press 2 If you want us to stay with the children.
Press 3 If you want to borrow the car.
Press 4 If you want us to wash your clothes and do your ironing.
Press 5 If you want the grandchildren to sleep here tonight.
Press 6 If you want us to pick up the kids at school.
Press 7 If you want us to prepare a meal for Sunday .
Press 8 If you want to come to eat here.
Press 9 If you need money.

"However, if you are going to invite us to your place for dinner, start talking ... we are listening !"