Dreadful Puns

[Carl]

Mummies find it hard to make friends as they're so wrapped in themselves.

Messrs Corbett and Barker had indigestion, they are now the 2 Rennies.

I've started training to be a boxer. I think I've made a good fist of it.

If my wife goes I shall be lost as she knows how to use the Sat-Nav.

Two male lions were cuddling. Have they no pride ?

I fired my masseur today. He just rubbed me up the wrong way.

A masochist asks a sadist 'Please hurt me' 'No' said the sadist.

I heard people in jail can only turn left. They lost all their rights.

I'm glad you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.

Confucius say 'man drunk in cemetery make grave mistakes'.

The depressed light switch said 'I can't go on'.

Going to war is the only way Americans can learn geography.

When my wife ask me to stop being a flamingo I had to put my foot down.

[Brandyboy]

Dreadful indeed, but very Tommy Cooperish.

' Confucius he say' is a great tag for lots of funny and irrelevant 'sayings'.