Top 10 Jokes At Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2022

[Carl]

Into the last week of the festival and the top 10 jokes have now been revealed.

1. Masai Graham: I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta.

2. Mark Simmons: Did you know, if you get pregnant in the Amazon, it's next day delivery.

3. Olaf Falafel: My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock.

4. Hannah Fairweather: By my age, my parents had a house and a family, and to be fair to me, so do I – but it is the same house and it is the same family.

5. Will Mars: I hate funerals – I'm not a mourning person.

6. Olaf Falafel: I spent the whole morning building a time machine, so that's four hours of my life that I'm definitely getting back.

7. Richard Pulsford: I sent a food parcel to my first wife. FedEx.

8. Tim Vine: I used to live hand to mouth. Do you know what changed my life ? Cutlery.

9. Sophie Duker: Don't knock threesomes. Having a threesome is like hiring an intern to do all the jobs you hate.

10. Will Duggan: I can’t even be bothered to be apathetic these days.

[freddo]

Can not believe people would laugh at them

[Carl]

Can not believe people would laugh at them

I know Fred, but people are making money from them. To think that these were the top 10 jokes the others must have been dire.

[freddo]

Comedians tell jokes, I did not see any on the list

[Carl]

Five that did not make the top 10 this year.

• Jess Robinson: Can you imagine a world with no arts and culture ? It would be like living in Portsmouth.

• Masai Graham: The Queen can hit a tennis ball further than any other member of the Royal Family. That's why she's our longest serving monarch.

• Iain MacDonald: You have to feel sorry for German cats. What with them having nein lives..

• Olaf Falafel: Do crabs think humans walk sideways ?

• Will Mars: I told my dad a joke about my crappy childhood, but he just didn't get it – I suppose you had to be there.

Previous joke winners at the fringe:

• 2019: I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have Florets. Olaf Falafel

• 2018: Working at the jobcentre has to be a tense job, knowing that if you get fired you still have to come in the next day. Adam Rowe

• 2017: I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change. Ken Cheng

• 2016: My dad suggested I register for a donor card, he's a man after my own heart. Masai Graham

• 2015: I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free. Darren Walsh

• 2014: I've decided to sell my hoover – well, it was just collecting dust. Tim Vine

• 2013: I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa. Rob Auton

• 2012: You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks. Stewart Francis

• 2011: I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Nick Helm

• 2010: I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again. Tim Vine

• 2009: Hedgehogs – why can't they just share the hedge ? Dan Antolpolski

• 2008: I can't believe Amy Winehouse self-harms. She's so irritating she must be able to find someone to do it for her. Zoe Lyons